Dear Director, We are signing our 7-year-old son up for summer camp at our local YMCA. This will be his first time attending any camp at all. He is excited to go but we are nervous. Our question is how we do talk to the YMCA camp staff, so they make the right accommodations for him to be successful this summer? We adopted our son at birth and know he was exposed to opioids in utero and has since suffered some negative effects. He gets mad so easily. Meltdowns are his norm. He does great at school as he is part of an Emotional Support Classroom, and they work wonders with him. Looking forward to your wisdom. Very truly yours, Nervous Parents
Dear Nervous Parents,
I am so excited that you are sending your son to camp this summer, and giving him the chance not only to have new experiences but also to spend time this summer not bunched up with other adopted children or children who may share a diagnosis or two. Your feelings are normal, wanting him to have this great experience but also concerned because he has some challenges.
I suggest you treat summer camp like “school lite,” where you do what you would do to prepare your son and his teacher/counselor to have a great relationship. First, connect with the camp director and introduce yourself and your son. Ask to come to where day camp will be held, then ask to be shown around where he will be, where the activities will be held, where the field trip bus goes, etc. Get the rule book so you can go over it with him. Let him know what their expectations are, so he can practice to be successful.
But I also suggest that you talk to the director about the type of counselor that would do the best job with him. Kids like your son always do best with grounded, steady, emotionally available and experienced adults, those who are calm in a storm, don’t frustrate easily and who are proactive and not reactive to issues between children. You also know your son best, and what might be helpful to him. So ask for it. Ask that he be with younger children if he struggles with social skills. Ask that he have his friend from school in his group, or the teenager from down the street as his junior counselor. Ask if he can have a code word to tell the adults if he is struggling and needs one-on-one “time-in” with a counselor. And make yourself available to the counselors if they have questions or want to learn strategies to help your son during his camp days.
Another idea is to “play” camp with him to help him know what might be coming, and to encourage him to be comfortable. That way, he won’t be anxious when he gets there. That tends to lead to meltdowns or oppositional behaviors. And neither of those are good at camp.
Lastly, tell him how much fun he will have, although it will be hard at times. And encourage him to try new things and meet new people, and express a lot of confidence in his ability to do well. Then enjoy your summer.
Rachel Kuhr, Director, Adoption and Foster Care Services
