I love that you want your daughter to experience the same joy and wonder that you did by attending camp. Please remember that no matter what happens, her experience will be different from yours. I have two sisters, and we all experienced and remember camp differently-although the one who hated the dirt and lack of showers at camp did end up in the Peace Corp living in a grass hut, so who knows. People do change and learn and grow, and we do not want your daughter’s life to be narrowed for fear that her trauma will keep her back. Let’s allow her to learn how to get through things that may seem hard at first. That is one of the great camp lessons.
First, let’s take a step back as you consider how to help her have the best time at camp, if she does go. Have you shared with your daughter the things about camp that you love? If so, she is more likely to grow to love them also. So, think about what was so good when you went to camp, and then consider if you have done these things with her-singing silly songs in the car while on road trips, camp fires with S’Mores, hiking, sleepovers–especially outside ones. If you have not, then you owe her the opportunity to try things out and agree that she likes to do them or not. This will also give you the information you need to decide what the best camp experience for her will be. If these are not her favorite things, maybe a different type of camp is best for her-bunkhouse instead of tents, drama or music or STEM instead of outdoor themed, five days instead of twelve.
Then consider what has helped her to be successful in other new situations, and in social settings, and in school. Is it being familiar with the setup? Many camps have open house
days prior to summer sessions, so you can wander and get a feel for it, reduce her anxiety. Is it having someone there who she feels safe with? Maybe ask a friend or close-age relative to go the same time as her, so she has a familiar face around. Is it accommodations for her when she gets overwhelmed? That would lead to a talk to the camp director, maybe even hand-choosing the counselors together so she has someone who will support her needs and help her use skills she already has when things get rough. By taking the time to identify what helps your daughter do well, you can avoid some of the things that trigger middle-of-the-night-pickup calls and sobbing letters home.
If she is not sure, start small, or look for a family camp in your area where you can be close by for her first experience. Some put the teens together in one place and the parents in another, and then you connect at meal time, but she would know you are there. Or start even smaller, the sleepover with her youth group or Girl Scout troop. Take her on day adventures to do activities that are related to camp. She has plenty of summers to build up to the level of camp you so loved, so let’s get her started now, before she is too grown.
