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Respite funds are available to adoptive families to help strengthen your family. This can mean spending some time away from your children and refilling your emotional tank. It can look like you attending parenting trainings so you can improve those skills. Sometimes families use this funding to help their child build self-regulation skills through certain activities. The bottom line is that as adoptive parents, you are entitled to respite funding to keep your family close and connected.

You may be surprised to learn that there is a formal system designed to support you after you adopt your child, are a formal kinship placement, or become a child’s permanent legal custodian. This system is called Post Permanency services: Post Perm for short. The goal is to strengthen and stand by all of you on your family’s journey. One of the best things about Post Perm services is that it is individualized for your unique family. Tailored to you! And even better, Post Perm services are FREE, funded by the Office of Children, Youth, and Families.

Dear Director, We adopted our now 9-year-old daughter when she was 5-years-old. She came to us from a neglectful home with 2 parents who unfortunately were addicted to drugs. We have such compassion for her biological parents and a true understanding of the trauma she endured. That being said, her behavior with food is confusing

As parents, it is our innate and primary role to provide proper nutrition for our children. We are hard wired to feed our offspring. If this very natural process is in any way disrupted, as parents, we are stricken and cannot help but take it personally. For it is our job to keep our children well fed. So when our children don’t eat well, eat too much or too little, fight us about healthy food choices, collect food in their rooms and other trauma responses, we, as parents are unnerved.

When “felt safety” is present, we can be connect to our bodies and feel if we are even hungry or full. Without this, if your child is constantly in a fight or flight mode, they are not able to feel any connection within their bodies, besides fear. Often these children, when placed in a safe home, will gorge on food as they may be worried there won’t be any tomorrow, or perhaps they do not feel the full signals from their bodies. Bottom line is first you connect to your child, help them to regulate, then you can truly help them learn how to eat well.