News Article

Blocked trust happens when a child experiences early complex trauma, neglect and abuse, and in turn develops a brain that is wired for survival and mistrust of others. Typically those who with blocked trust have a difficult time connecting with all caregivers. The concepts of both blocked trust and blocked care were developed by Daniel Hughes and Jonathon Baylin in their book Brain Based Parenting. 

If you have made it this far, you realize that you may be stuck in blocked care or know someone who is. Let’s explore how to get you unstuck and back to enjoying parenting again, having fun with your child, and moving out of  that self-preservation/survival mode. Taking the time to learn about the concept of blocked care and admitting you are in it is a huge first step. So congratulations for your honesty and integrity for making it to this point. Keep reading for very specific ways to get unblocked!

When I hear him walk down the stairs, my hairs stand on edge preparing for our next battle. I find myself not even liking my son. I walk around feeling like such a failure as a parent. I’ve lost all hope.

Dear Director,

I am done! I don’t care about being a good parent to my 14-year-old adopted daughter anymore. It’s impossible anyway. I’ve lost all hope. I adopted my daughter when she was 5 and she never really let me close to her. Prickly Porcupine is her nickname. In the last couple of years, we end up battling over every single thing. She repeatedly tells me she hates me. I end up feeling like such a bad mom because now I even cringe when she comes into the house. In my adoption support group, they say I am stuck in blocked care. I had never heard of this before. Please help.

Desperate and Hopeless

The teen years are always tricky; often fraught with push and pulls between parents and child as natural separation occurs. Gain insight from JFS’ Teen Whisperer on how to help your adopted teen. Learn how to navigate normal teen angst versus more consequential trauma related behaviors. If professional mental health support is needed, find out specifically what to look for in choosing the right practitioner for your teen.