Post-Permanency Newsletter

There’s only one thing you must do with those pesky expectations: LOWER THEM! You will save your family power struggles, ugly meltdowns, and stress. Once you’ve changed what you expect over the Holiday Season, you can intentionally design the type of holiday celebrations that work best for your lovely family.

We don’t get it. We adopted our 11-year-old identical twin daughters when they were 18 months old. We know they were exposed to the same trauma due to severe neglect. We see one struggling with trauma related issues so much more than the other. She always seems to need to be in control, gets easily upset, has difficulty sleeping, and has just started stealing from us. We have heard that some children can be more resilient than others. It’s hard to understand though since they are identical twins. How can we help our struggling twin to become more resilient, like her sister? 

Resiliency can be taught. No matter how much trauma your children experienced, as parents, you have the power to teach your kids how to build resilience. Additionally you can teach them concrete skills and strategies to help them thrive in their life’s journey.

Resiliency is the ability to bounce back after hard things: failure, trauma, adversity, or any challenge. It is the process of managing different types of stress and then recovering.

Rachel Kuhr,the Director of Adoption and Foster Care at JFS, reviews Building The Bonds of Attachment. This is the formative and foundational text for adopted families regarding attachment. Rachel’s regularly scheduled Dear Director column will return next month.