Post-Permanency Newsletter

Our 8-year-old adopted daughter is doing a terrible job of following directions and staying on task at school. Her pediatrician is convinced it must be ADHD and wants to put her on meds for that, but I am concerned because what if that’s not the problem.  We adopted her when she was 2 and she unfortunately did experience physical abuse and severe neglect before she came to live with us.  I have heard that trauma can look like ADHD, and I want to make sure this is what’s going on before we give her any medicine. Please advise.

Dear Director,

My 12-year-old son is acting strange whenever we talk about returning to school at the end of this month. He used to love school, he had friends, and was an A/B student, who played on the soccer team. He has spent the last 18 months learning through his iPad and has seemed OK. I notice he plays more video games than ever now that summer is here and turns down offers to get together with his friends. But I thought everything was fine. Suddenly, he started asking me if he can go to cyber-school instead of returning to his regular 8th grade classroom. He even said he’s quitting the soccer team. Every time I try to get him to talk to me about what’s going on, he slams the door, pulls the shades, and crawls into his video games. I know Covid is/was rough on us all, but I thought my son would be thrilled to go back to school. Is this because he’s adopted?

 Signed, Perplexed Mom

This year’s “Back-To-School” will be unique and different than any other in our lifetime.  With the Pandemic waning and vaccines available in the United States, most children will return to in-person school in the Fall. It will not just be about the trip to Target to get notebooks and backpacks and pencils and pens. It will not only be about a trip to the mall to obtain the perfect first day of school outfit.  As parents we are faced with the tricky task of emotionally guiding and leading our families back to school after months upon months of isolation.

If your child has been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Dr. Ross Greene must be your guru. He is the author of The Explosive Child. Isn’t the word defiant already 100 times better then the word oppositional? That is just a glimpse at his magic. Even if your chid doesn’t carry an ODD diagnoses, I urge you to purchase, read, and then practice his program outlined in his book. Greene’s website, Lives in Balance, will also guide you on your parenting journey whether your child is ornery, grumpy, non-compliant, angry, argumentative, prickly, hard to get along with, or even has an ODD diagnoses. And no, I do not know Dr. Greene, and he didn’t pay me to write this.