It’s the oxygen mask thing. First you, then the kid.
Seriously, how can you stay calm and co-regulate with your child when you cannot regulate yourself. How can you teach a child to focus on the simple things that so heavily impact their day-to-day well-being like sleep, food and water, being in nature, if you don’t take the time to both do these things AND narrate for the child that you are doing that.
How can you ask a child to do things that build their sense of calm, confidence, and hopefulness so that they can get back to the hard work of living if you do not model this behavior for them?
Remember that children learn at least ¾ of what they know from watching adults do it, so before you yell, if you stop to take three deep breaths first, they learn to try that. If you say, I need to walk around the yard until I am calm, they learn that. If you take a day off to go to the airport and watch planes take off and land and dream of going somewhere, then they will also learn to take a break and dream big.
It’s the oxygen mask thing. ‘Nuff said, you are too busy already. I am going for a walk. Self-care rules!
