Post-Permanency Newsletter

Learning how to regulate your brain and body is the key to staying within one’s window of tolerance. When an individual experiences childhood trauma, as most adopted children do, it significantly impacts how wide their window of tolerance is. Another factor effecting your child’s window of tolerance is how well they have resolved this trauma. Let’s delve into each of these factors to truly understand how your child’s past may still be influencing how they manage their emotions and natural stressors that come about in life. In other words, if you can understand how your child’s window of tolerance has been shaped by their trauma, then you can meet them with empathy and understanding.  To help your children increase their tolerance for distress, after you put on your compassion hat, you can then help them learn techniques to make positive change. That window of tolerance can absolutely be widened with skills and practice.

Dear Director,
Our 11-year-old adopted son gets really angry and irritable sometimes and acts sweet as pie others. We never know when he will fly off the handle. His therapist says he has a narrow window of tolerance due to his rough upbringing that included severe neglect. We are having trouble understanding exactly what she is talking about. I wish he would act consistently and not be so volatile. What do you think?
– Confused