Post-Permanency Newsletter

Dear Director,

Summer is fast approaching. I am having such ambivalence about it. My two elementary school children and my two middle school ones will soon be under my feet 24-7. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my kids, but sometimes it just gets too much. Please advise.

Yours, Ambivalent

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders are invisible disabilities.  The majority of those with FASD show no facial features at all. Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder is a range of physical, emotional and developmental delays that affects a person when they were exposed to alcohol during pregnancy. Even 1 drink during pregnancy can cause FASD. When a mother drinks alcohol during pregnancy, it is passed from her bloodstream directly to the fetus’ umbilical cord. The bottom line is this exposure to alcohol in utero causes harmful brain changes so severe that we call this brain damage. Hence  FASD truly a brain disability: in fact FASD is the most prevalent brain-based disorder in the world. Thus we need to CONSIDER the BRAIN.

If you made it this far, you are ready to throw your old strategies to the curb. This CONSIDER the BRAIN business sounds promising. Let me tell you none of this will be easy. Throwing away your usual ways of doing things is never easy. Getting the school on board is daunting. Learning how to see your child differently will be tough. But the rewards are endless. For your child is walking around feeling misunderstood. They often feel like they are a failure because certain areas are just too hard for them no matter what they do. They may be feeling like they are unlovable as they just keep getting trouble over and over again. This new approach can help! Read on to begin your CONSIDER the BRAIN parenting journey.

Dear Director,

I adopted my wonderful 9-year-old daughter, Emma, when she was 3-years-old. I knew her mother drank during her pregnancy and Emma now has a FASD diagnosis.

Recently we were at an Easter Egg Hunt at my sister’s home and my daughter got so overwhelmed by all the people and different activities, that she ran screaming out of the house. Later I overheard my mother talking to my sister and called Emma a naughty little brat. I tried, yet again, to explain to my mother that her brain basically shuts down in certain settings and she is literally unable to control herself. My mother just looked at me and said maybe you should give Emma some consequences then.

A Very Frustrated Mom

Blocked trust happens when a child experiences early complex trauma, neglect and abuse, and in turn develops a brain that is wired for survival and mistrust of others. Typically those who with blocked trust have a difficult time connecting with all caregivers. The concepts of both blocked trust and blocked care were developed by Daniel Hughes and Jonathon Baylin in their book Brain Based Parenting.