Post-Permanency Newsletter

Dear Director,

I am done! I don’t care about being a good parent to my 14-year-old adopted daughter anymore. It’s impossible anyway. I’ve lost all hope. I adopted my daughter when she was 5 and she never really let me close to her. Prickly Porcupine is her nickname. In the last couple of years, we end up battling over every single thing. She repeatedly tells me she hates me. I end up feeling like such a bad mom because now I even cringe when she comes into the house. In my adoption support group, they say I am stuck in blocked care. I had never heard of this before. Please help.

Desperate and Hopeless

The teen years are always tricky; often fraught with push and pulls between parents and child as natural separation occurs. Gain insight from JFS’ Teen Whisperer on how to help your adopted teen. Learn how to navigate normal teen angst versus more consequential trauma related behaviors. If professional mental health support is needed, find out specifically what to look for in choosing the right practitioner for your teen.

Children who come from hard places riddled with trauma are so easily misunderstood. Explore what is behind your adopted child’s tough behaviors. Buy into the concept that these are just leftover adaptive responses from before they came to you. True, our kids will get labeled with some form of mental health diagnoses or another. Trauma creates real changes in the brain which creates real symptoms. It remains our job to stand by our children through their struggles, teach and model healthier coping strategies, help them accept their mental health struggles, and learn to be proud of all their healing.