Post-Permanency Newsletter

Dear Director,

My 7-year-old adopted daughter and I fight every time it is time to go anywhere. She takes so long to get and be ready to go that it feels like she is stalling on purpose.  My Post Perm worker told me she is a 10-second child in a 1-second world and needs more time to process information. I’m having trouble buying into this idea. After all, my daughter is 7 and very smart and capable. Please share your wisdom.

Signed, Doubtful

What a gift it is to figure out that all your child needs is more time. More time to think, to listen, to process, to answer, to respond. Tension at home and problems at school can dramatically decrease with this simple adaptation. It is you; the parent, the teacher, the adult who needs to change. Adapt a new paradigm. Change how you understand your child.. Change your expectations. Change how you communicate. Change your total perspective. If your child is that 10-second child in this 1-second world, your entire lens must shift! Now keep reading for specific adaptations that match this new perspective.

“If understood word being you that you angry to that understand up just down you a even don’t
parents frustrated not directions answering your give grades what going.”

This is what a person with a slower processing speed may hear when you talk to them: EVERY 3rd word.

Now read that again without the missing words:

“If you only understood every 3rd word that was being spoken to you, what would that look like?
You may seem angry and defiant to cover up that you cannot understand and keep up. Perhaps you
just plain shut down? Or maybe you say “yes” a lot or even better, “I don’t know.” Your parents
would be frustrated with you for not following their directions or properly answering your
questions. Your teachers would give you poor grades and question what is actually going on.”

Being a **10-second child in a 1-second world simply means that the child has a slower processing speed. The concept implies an expectations mismatch between the adult speaker and the child. Our cultural assumption is that children are supposed to “process” information immediately and respond accordingly. But the 10 second child needs way more time! This idea can be applied to all differently-wired brains. If you’ve read the other Post Perm Newsletters, you are well aware that your adopted child most likely experienced trauma that changed their brain. These changes include processing speed. Keep reading to learn how your child may actually be one of those 10-second children in a 1-second world.

The key to being the best advocate for your child is who you know, what you know, how much you know, who you can lean on, where you go for expert information, who you can ask, what you have access to, and then again who you know! Keep reading about ways to connect with all these who, what,where’s so you can have resources upon resources to help you speak up for your beloved children.